(This post was taken from a talk delivered by "Thummim" at a local Stake Conference [regional LDS meeting], names and other personal information have been redacted)
Video Games, "Fake-book," and Ward Councils
In an Internet forum asking the question “What freaks you out the more you think about it?” one person answered:
“That every person I see on the street, at the mall or anywhere really, has their own dreams, families, friends, likes, dislikes and all that. All the people that are just support-cast in my life, are the lead-role in their own lives, and I am just a passer-by. I just cannot fathom this.”
And another person responded to the previous post with: “We are the NPCs in other peoples’ games.”
Full disclosure: I know next to nothing about the nuts and bolts and inner-workings of Ward Councils (a meeting of all the leaders in an LDS congregation) because I’ve never been to one! What I do know about is video games, which I’ve been working on as a hobby and a full-time job for the last 10 years.
You’re probably wondering what video games have to do with Ward Council and I can’t blame you for that! But bear with me and hopefully we’ll be able to see some parallels between the two seemingly unrelated topics.
Single Player vs. MMO
There are many genres of video games ranging from action, to puzzle, to adventure, and even experimental. A major distinguisher of game genres is whether they are single-player or multi-player. Old games like Super Mario Bros. and Pac Man were single-player with one hero that attempts to accomplish a mission in a fairly static “pre-programmed” environment. One component that recurs in many single-player games is the concept of “NPCs” which stands for “non-player characters.” For example, in Super Mario Bros., Mario is the main character whose role you assume as the player, but Princess Peach is an “NPC” that you’re trying to rescue. In Pac Man, you play as a “Pizza-missing-a-slice,” and the ghosts that chase you are “NPCs.” In the Zelda franchise, the main character “Link” interacts with a wide variety of NPCs that give him hints for how to complete the game.
NPCs are the epitome of “surface-level” characters that repeat, with little variety, a small set of instructions over and over whenever you interact with them. Their artificial intelligence is simple and once their small bit of information is imparted to the player, they are quickly forgotten as the quest is pursued.
In contrast to single-player games there is another genre of video game called an MMO, or “massively multiplayer online” game. In an MMO, everyone you meet is a REAL person - someone actively typing away at their keyboard somewhere else in the world. You could spend hours talking with other players in an MMO and barely scratch the surface of the information they can impart. In a Massively Multiplayer game, every single person you interact with is the HERO of their OWN game.
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Unfortunately, many of us go through real-life and treat others as if they were “NPCs” in our single-player adventure - like they are superficial characters in our personal “game” with little depth or significance. Sometimes we even see others as 2-dimensional characters that need rescuing, stepping stones that help us move on with our own personal quests. This distorts our perception of reality and hinders our ability to be of real help to others.
C.S. Lewis wrote:
“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” (emphasis added)
I believe one of the goals of the Ward Council is to deepen the Ward’s perception of the reality of other peoples’ lives - to help Ward members perceive the struggles and joys of their brothers and sisters so that we can reach out to help them and also share in their happiness. In a way, Ward Councils should help us break out of our single-player adventure mindset and become more like players in the MMO of life. In other words, the Ward Council assists the Ward to see others in a more realistic light - to know others “as we are known” and not “through a glass darkly” (1 Corinthians 13:12).
Facebook vs. PostSecret
Up until now, you might not have related much to my topic. You might say “I don’t play video games! They’re for kids!” But I’d like to talk about a videogame that I know most of you do play, in fact over 1 billion people in the world “play” this video game. It’s called Facebook.
Facebook is an MMO. It fits the definition of a game because it has rules and goals. It’s played using a computer or a mobile device so it qualifies as a “video” game. It involves multiple people communicating in real time, so it fits the definition of being “Massively Multiplayer.”
One of the strangest things about Facebook is that EVERYONE is living a PERFECT life. They’re going on vacation, they’re doing fun activities, they’re partying with their friends and family. They’re eating out and posting pictures of their delicious food. They’re buying a new house or car or clothes. They’re going for runs, lifting weights, getting their hair or nails done, and exercising. They’re getting new jobs and being promoted at their current job. They’re earning degrees, reading fascinating books, and graduating from school. They’re posting photos of themselves taken from the perfect “selfie” angle that hides all their flaws.
Everyone is a “friend” on Facebook - you are only allowed to “like” what others are doing. There’s no way to “win” at the game of Facebook, but everyone seems to be trying their best to “win” anyway.
Some would like to change the name of Facebook to “Fake-book.” One study showed that “too much exposure to the happiness of near strangers makes people tend to see life as unfair and joy as unbalanced.” In many ways, the sanitized “pristine-projection-of-self” on Facebook undermines and distorts the complexity of living a real life and being human. It relegates everyone around us to being as flat, fake, and predictable as the NPCs in single-player games.
This “Fake-book” phenomenon also tends to happen in our Wards. We commonly see each other only on Sundays in our “Sunday best” - all prepped and smiling - no warts at all. But as long as that false image persists everyone around us will remain an “NPC” because we see them as two-dimensional representations of something we know we’re not. We “see without seeing and hear without hearing” (Isaiah 6:9) and impart an unattainable depth to others that is not based on “things as they really are” (Jacob 4:13).
Contrast Facebook with a website called PostSecret.com. PostSecret is simply a mailing address where people can send postcards. The unique thing about these postcards, though, is that people are encouraged to write a secret they’ve never told anyone on them. These postcards are scanned and posted on the website. It is the antithesis of “Fake-book” because of the raw honesty, reality, and authenticity portrayed on the anonymous postcards.
Here are a few samples from the site, compare the level of sincerity with what you typically see in your Facebook news feed and imagine if we could freely share these kinds of sentiments among our Ward families:
“I have saved voicemails from my grandmother on my phone and I still listen to them because I never got to say goodbye… and I miss her”
“I’ve cried more in the last year and a half than I have in my entire life. Not because my marriage fell apart. Because I let my kids down.”
“I would still appreciate an apology.”
“I secretly fear that Heaven will be boring”
“We had to abandon our home of 15 years because of bankruptcy. For the six months before it was repossessed by the bank, I would go back to our old, empty, house, lie on the floor, and cry alone.”
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I see the ideal Ward Council as a group of people that are not only striving to see their fellow Ward members as accurately as possible (while still respecting their privacy) but also teaching and training the rest of the Ward to have a different level of awareness and care - striving together as a Ward family to dispose of false pretense and work toward authenticity... Peeling away the “NPC” and “Fake-book” defaults to see where the gospel can authentically enrich lives with accuracy and precision.
The Ward Council in my Life
It’s difficult to know for sure when the Ward Council has discussed my family’s needs or my own needs specifically, but I’ll take my best guess based on how I understand the Ward Council works:
- As a child my mom was a single parent raising 3 boys and working crazy hours and sometimes multiple jobs to make ends meet. I know that the church helped us on multiple occasions and my mother was always immensely grateful that our Ward family had perceived our need. I’m sure we were discussed by name in Ward Council meetings and specific plans put into place to help us.
- I was baptised by [redacted] when I was 8, who was my bishop at the time and the head of the Ward Council.
- When I was a little older, our Bishop met with my mom and encouraged her to attend the temple. At the time, she was afraid of going to the temple and thought members of the church worshipped the temple in an inappropriate way. The Bishop told her “ok, you don’t have to go to the temple, but would you mind participating in a temple prep. class?” She attended the class, and eventually came to gain a testimony of the temple.
- When I was a teenager, my mom went through a period of church inactivity. I have very fond memories of my youth leaders that always made sure I had rides to church, scout camp, seminary, and mutual. I also get the feeling that many specific lessons were delivered to my youth group based on discussions and promptings received by members of the Ward Council who were highly concerned with making their lessons applicable in my life.
- When my daughter [redacted] was turning 8, she had questions about the truthfulness of the church and whether she really wanted to be baptised. A program organized under the direction of the Ward Council called “It’s great to be 8” answered her questions and helped her feel and recognize the spirit and influenced her decision to be baptised.
- When I lost my job a couple years ago, one of my home teachers loaned me his skills to help make some repairs on my house and also reported back to the Ward Council who was able to reach out to my family and make sure we were taken care of.
It would have been easy for these Ward Councils to see me and my family as a names on a page, or paint me into the prefabricated label of “at-risk youth,” - maybe even to see me as a “Non Player Character” who needed saving through the use of a standard formula. Fortunately for me, they saw me, instead, as a fellow player in the “multi-player game” of life and treated me and my family with authenticity. Their care allowed them to see us “as we really were” so they could effectively help us. There was no “one-size-fits-all” approach, only careful consideration and concern for fellow brothers and sisters.
I hope that every Ward Council and Ward Family can work toward the same kind of authenticity, perception, and care that our Savior exhibited in addressing the needs of those He taught, nurtured, and healed.
He was a member of the original “Council” (Revelation 5: 1-10) held in our premortal life where He promised to meet all our needs physically and spiritually. A huge part of His being able to JUDGE us and SAVE us is the fact that he plumbed the depths of each of our existences, he actually knows us better than we know ourselves so that, when he extends his hand to us, his help is custom-tailored with the highest degree of precision possible (Alma 7:12).
Citations:
1. From Church Handbook 2 on Ward Councils:
HB 2: 4.4 “Members of the ward council strive to help individuals build testimonies, receive saving ordinances, keep covenants, and become consecrated followers of Jesus Christ”
HB 2: 4.5.1 “Members of the ward council do most of their work outside of ward council meetings.”
“Ward council members strive to stay informed about the needs, well-being, and spiritual progress of members in their organizations. They also stay informed about members who face special challenges or changing circumstances.”
“New and Returning Member Progress form.”
HB 2: 4.6.1 “...unite in love and concern for those they serve”
HB 2: 4.6.2 “Rather than discussing too many subjects in a superficial way, it is better to focus on a few that will bless the most individuals and families.”
“...the council’s main focus [is] on individuals”
HB 2: 4.6.3 “The council’s focus is on helping people, not administering programs.”
2. Hui-Tzu Grace Chou and Nicholas Edge. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking. February 2012, 15(2): 117-121. doi:10.1089/cyber.2011.0324.
3. http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1m3k3v/whats_something_that_if_you_think_about_it_for/
4. C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
